Good Food, Good Feelings [Sam/Castiel]

[Castiel]

[cas]Social awareness never having been one of his dominant characteristics, Castiel didn't give any kind of warning. Just appeared walking along beside Sam as the hunter was crossing the parking lot of a Village Inn in Los Lunas, New Mexico. One moment nothing, the next a hunched figure in a rumpled trench coat pacing along at Sam's left shoulder.

"You aren't sleeping," Castiel said, his voice as rough and affectless as ever. It took some kind of major existential crisis to get the angel emoting. Good luck or bad that the Winchester brothers had heard it several times. "You've been feeling sorry for yourself again. I do not understand that and never will. Why humans punish themselves by not sleeping or tending to their wounds."

He didn't push the point, though. Not delicacy, just an awareness that it wasn't going to do him any good. "What are you hunting? I need you to be doing something else." [/cas]

[Sam Winchester]

[sam]Sam had dragged himself to the restaurant to feed himself, so that he was at least making an attempt at continuing to exist. The nightmares were getting worse at night and Lucifer’s prattling was almost nonstop. He’d been criticized on every move of his last three hunts and it was driving him up the wall. He was miserable because of the fact that he was still arguing with Dean and wishing that his own personal satan would take a vacation. When Castiel appeared beside him, Sam didn’t even jump. Not anymore. Months of having another angel appear and disappear at random intervals had kind of made him ignore it.

He had a moment to wonder if Castiel was a trick, if it was Lucifer trying to bother him in another way. But no, he could see the blonde leaning against his car. Scowling, Sam glanced at the angel next to him. “Can’t sleep. Haven’t been injured recently.”

He considered Cas for a moment and then shrugged irritably. “Vampire’s nest. Can’t exactly leave it to fester, they’ve already killed fifteen people.” He wasn’t sure he was entirely interested in being sent on some divine task, not when he was still dealing with the repercussions of the last divine task he’d dealt with. “Is this another end-of-the-world mission?” He was tired, he was cranky, but he could at least try and not be a bastard to smaller man.

“Sorry, Cas. What do you need?” He forced himself to sound less antagonizing and more curious. He’d alienated one person, there was no need to alienate another.[/sam]

[Castiel]

[cas]A low, noncommittal sound in his throat. "I will help you deal with the vampires so that you can concentrate on this other matter. I need you to be alert. Focused."

He followed Sam into the diner, sat down across from him in the booth. The motion was strange, something dizzying about it until Sam did or didn't realize that what made it so odd was that the movement was exactly Dean's, down to the most minute shift of angle and weight. Castiel had learned to be human from Sam and his brother, and he'd picked up some of it through a magpie mimicry too perfect to be quite real. Several of Castiel's gestures came directly and note-perfect from Dean, a few from Sam, one or two even from Bobby Singer.

He waited patiently for the waitress to come over and do her thing, ordering an ice water and a cheeseburger. (Proof of the way he'd grown. Or of how tired he was.) And when they were alone again he told Sam, "I want you to find Adam."[/cas]

[Sam Winchester]

[sam]Sam frowned, but didn’t argue. Watching Castiel sit was unnerving in that it was too like Dean for him to be completely comfortable. He realized that the only humans Castiel seemed to spend a large amount of time with was himself and his brother; and that, between them, he spent far more time with Dean. It was all the more noticeable when he was by himself and Sam repressed a shiver. When the waitress came by, he ordered his usual water and salad grouping. Once she was gone, his gaze returned to the angel expectantly.

He was rewarded with a request that he hadn’t expected. “Adam? Adam Milligan? He’s dead…Isn’t he?” Adam had been in the cage with him and he’d thought him left behind when his memories had returned. “He’s in the cage. Or was. Just how impenetrable is the cage if Adam and I can get out?”

The ever-present blond was sitting next to Castiel, laughing at him. Sam growled, hand jerking threateningly but the antagonizing presence was already gone.[/sam]

[Castiel]

[cas]Castiel gave Sam a chiding look. "We retrieved you from the Cage. We retrieved Dean from Alastair's leash. Did you really think once we figured out how to bring Lucifer's vessel out we'd leave Michael's to rot? We are not humans, we don't forget so easily."

He didn't even sound pissed. In a way that was worse. "He was retrieved some time ago, but as soon as we brought him back to the Earth he managed to banish us and then fled before we could return. He's been hiding from us for weeks, but I think he had an encounter with demons not long ago. That makes it imperative that he be located, at least to confirm that he's not under threat from the demons. I can't find him. I can't send Dean. You're the only other person who he might believe gives a damn."[/cas]

[Sam Winchester]

[sam]Sam flinched, but let the topic go. It was probably better not to press too hard and simply accept the fact that Castiel had done something impossible without destroying the world. At least, it was easier to accept this instead of spending his time worrying. "I'll work on finding him." He'd leave that night, but he couldn't just abandon the town to the vampire nest, which made him grateful now that the angel had offered his help.

"For the record, I do give a damn. I didn't forget. I assumed, wrongly, that it had been a fluke of some sort." His mouth snapped shut when the waitress returned. "Any news of Dean?" He hadn't seen his brother in a while and he figured that Castiel probably had.[/sam]

[Castiel]

[cas]"He was operating on the mid-Atlantic coast the last time we found him, but your half-brother is surprisingly good at hiding when he puts his mind to it. Or," a pained sort of look, not quite a wince, "maybe not so surprising. I wonder, a bit, whether we didn't take things too far the other direction with him. We were so desperate not to leave the soul behind that," he shrugged, "it's possible there's a bit of Michael still in him. Or Michael's Grace, anyway." And why was he even talking about this? He had to be out of his mind, this wasn't something for humans to know.

Except that he wasn't exactly talking to a human, was he? Not that Sam wasn't human, but his level of knowledge, of involvement in what was going on in Heaven and Hell was so deep that it almost took him out of his own species.

Better to change the subject. "Dean's fine. Drinking a lot, feeling sorry for himself a lot, eating cheeseburgers and flirting with waitresses and trying to convince himself that he's just doing the job. Someone needs to jar him free of it, but that isn't me."[/cas]

[Sam Winchester]

[sam]Sam frowned speculatively. He'd come out soulless, and Adam had come out with perhaps too much attached. Which meant Castiel probably should have left them down there. Not that he wasn't glad that Adam was free, but getting them both out had probably screwed them further. He kept those opinions to himself and simply took in the information. Two peas in a pod, they were. He was rather looking forward to finding Adam, someone who might understand the reality he lived in now.

He grimaced. "That person isn't me, either, Cas. At least, not right now. If he's still in a funk after I've met up with Adam, I'll see if I can't shake him out of it. But I don't expect him to be particularly happy to see me again." He swallowed a bite of his salad and eyed the angel. "Do you know what's going on? The strange things that have been happening? Can you give me some direction other than find Adam?" He was too used to being at the center of it all, too used to being a cause for worldwide events and he was feeling listless without at least some semblance of a clear goal in mind.[/sam]

[Castiel]

[cas]"Yes, I know what's going on." And that was as much as he said about it right now. It would come out soon enough, and there was little enough downtime for any of them. Let him and Dean--what was the phrase? Work out their shit before the next crisis arrived.

So instead of filling Sam in, quite, he said, "The next time you and Dean are traveling together you should go talk to Chuck Shurley. He's writing again." That was hint enough, right?

Castiel had resisted the cheeseburger this long, but finally he sighed and picked it up, taking a big bite and making a little happy sound low in his throat. As sins went it was venial enough, but it didn't stop him from feeling guilty. Not too guilty to take a second bite, though. "Cheeseburgers. And coffee. No wonder humans don't mind being fat."[/cas]

[Sam Winchester]

[sam]He took what he could get from Castiel, understanding that he wasn’t likely to get anything else from the angel on the on-goings of the planet. That had never been the way he worked and Sam knew it. It would be some time, unfortunately, before he would be travelling with Dean again. Still, he would remember that little tidbit and use it when he made up with his brother. He was grateful that Castiel wasn’t dumping anything huge and world-ending on him right at the moment. Perhaps selfish, but he wanted to take a step or two back, focus on the little things that he could fix and not the massive disasters he never seemed to know how to deal with.

Sam smiled. “You’ve figured us out.” He watched Castiel eat, again reminded very painfully of Dean and turned his gaze down to his salad. “I have a few contacts. I can call someone up to deal with the nest, get on the Adam thing as soon as possible.”[/sam]

[Castiel]

[cas]"I'll deal with the vampires." He didn't speak to how, that would only make things harder all around. He'd deal with it, that was all Sam really needed to know. "Find Adam. If you can't bring him into the fold, at least talk to him and convince him that he can call on someone if he gets into trouble. He's been alone for a very long time." Much longer than the few weeks he'd been wandering around on earth.

He took another bite of the cheeseburger and studied Sam obliquely. "How are you? Are you well? Any ill-effects from the Wall coming down?" He could be concerned, but he wasn't good at sounding it. It was too human a trait.[/cas]

[Sam Winchester]

[sam]Sam nodded and left it at that. He trusted Castiel's word implicitly in much the same way he would trust Dean's. Scooping up some more salad into his mouth, he chewed thoughtfully while he thought over Adam's situation. For a brief moment he considered ignoring the angel's questions, instead he shrugged. "It is what it is. I'm dealing, so don't worry about me."

Which was a form of side-stepping the actual questions, but he figured there were other things going on. He didn't feel like he was about to snap anytime soon. Sam had been feeling sorry for himself while he'd been wandering directionless, but he was going to pull it together. He figured it was the least he could do if he was going to be tracking down Adam. "Mid-Atlantic coast, you said? That gives me a starting point. Thanks." Where would he go from there, that was the question. Sam fell into silent eating, considering the options available. "Anything else I should be aware of?"[/sam]

[Castiel]

[cas]All of a sudden Castiel looked uncomfortable. Shifty-eyed, squirmy a little under the baggy coat. He picked up his burger and took a bite, then took a drink of his water, then fiddled with the french fries on his plate, trying to stall.

Unfortunately, Cas was in no way slick enough to pull off the kind of stalling tactics that he was attempting to use. He cut his eyes off to one side and when he said, "No, nothing," it was an incredibly transparent lie.[/cas]

[Sam Winchester]

[sam]The angel had his full attention almost immediately. Sam frowned uncertainly. "What aren't you telling me Cas?" If his friend was completely against sharing, he'd let it go, but the shiftiness made him uneasy. He didn't like the idea that there was something very bad going on that Castiel wasn't talking about. Fiddling with his salad, Sam watched Cas. "I'll understand if you need to keep it on the lowdown, whatever it is. But, promise me this isn't some dangerous secret. I've had enough of dangerous secrets."[/sam]

[Castiel]

[cas]Castiel rubbed the heel of one hand against the side of his neck in an incredibly human gesture of discomfort. "There are...certain things which I am forbidden to tell you." He refused to make eye contact as he paused and then added, "But you might want to find Ma--uh, Zee. If you can. I think you and she might, um, have something to talk about." He was skirting the edges of stepping onto somebody else's realm here and was trying to be very delicate. But frankly Castiel thought that the girl should have contacted Sam by now and the fact that she hadn't and that his brother who was meant to be overseeing the matter hadn't stepped in worried him more than a little. Castiel knew the Winchesters, and sometimes they needed a little time to get used to things.[/cas]