Pieces of the Puzzle (Dean/Sam/Zee/Adam)

[Zee Kerrick]

[zee]"They help with the hallucinations," It sounded as bitter as it was. "Antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, depressants to sleep once a week or so, muscle relaxers when the convulsions start." Adam pulled out his lighter and started flipping it around and around in his hand but he wouldn't smoke on Zee.

"Okay," even Zee couldn't quite believe that she could sound so mild and gentle. "I didn't think this would happen so soon, but I think this is the point where everybody starts to give one another a break." She stood up, already a little bit awkward, and went to the sink to get Dean a little plastic cup.

Back across the room, she offered it to him and said, "So. I didn't get knocked up on purpose to trap your brother. Adam's broken and so far we haven't figured out a way to fix him. Sam doesn't sleep and has convinced himself that everything bad is his fault and that he has to take care of me and Adam completely or he's exactly the failure he always feared he was. And you're feeling incredibly picked on. We gonna riff on those topics for a while, or move it right along to 'Now what?'"[/zee]

[Sam Winchester]

[sam]Sam raised his hand from where he still stood in the corner of the room. "I vote for 'now what', because, honestly, I don't know what we're fighting or where it's coming from." Cas hadn't told him so much, just to find Adam and Zee. He had done both of those things, they had worked out a bit of a rhythm. Really, he knew it was unlikely, but he'd just like to hope that that was all there was to it. Find the family and get back together. Work out the issues they all had and live happily ever after.

He knew it wasn't going to happen like that. By the end of the year, Sam had a bet that someone would go back to Hell or otherwise be dead. If he could help it, it would be anyone standing in the hotel room with him. "So, no luck finding Dad, that's one thing down. We can work on that as we go." Because, really, finding Dad wasn't something they could do unless he let them.[/sam]

[Dean Winchester]

[dean]Dean took the cup but the look he gave Zee was less than friendly. He didn't think she was trying to trap Sam, but that was exactly what had happened anyway and he was a dick, but he was also man enough to admit, at least to himself, that he was pissed because somehow he just knew this was going to work out for Sam and he himself would probably never see Lisa and Ben again.

The last two times he'd tried to call her it had gone straight to voice mail.

Shaking those thoughts off and avoiding looking at Adam all together, he said, "A storm's coming. Those are Cas's exact words. The cage might be opening but they can't tell, some of the angels are trying to force God into the open, Crowley's making a play for the pit and turns out there are more," he looked at Sam, "Hell's Special Psychics. Demons're looking for 'em."

He poured himself two fingers and shot it back, wincing because scotch was not meant to be drank that way but he didn't care. Adam has his pharmacy to cope, Dean needed the alcohol. More and more of late, it was turning out. "Could be any or all of that, could be none of it. But that's what I know. Oh, and whatever it is has to do with our family, the bloodline, and her," he jerked his head at Zee, "Uterus. We're supposed to keep that safe."[/dean]

[Adam Milligan]

[adam]"Well, fuck." Zee sat down on one of the beds, a bit away from both Adam and Sam because she wasn't much thinking about staging or psychological bonding, she just sat and scowled down at her feet. "They need to stay the fuck away from my uterus, and whoever comes out of it." But she sounded doomed as she said it, knowing full well that it was way, way too late for that.

"The Cage is going to crack," Adam sounded a hundred percent certain of it. "It's already weakening, every day the walls were getting thinner." He didn't add that he was relatively sure that he would know to the second when the Cage finally broke. More and more Adam feared that he still had a little bit of Michael in him, or him in Michael, or both. He could feel the bastard, he could remember an archangel's infinite past and in his more rational moments Adam knew that's what made the crazy as bad as it was. "And when they come out, it's gonna be bad. Bad."

The lighter spun faster and faster in his hand, he was going to need to step outside and smoke in a minute. "Lucifer's pissed. But Michael's some kind of angry that there isn't a word for."[/adam]

[Sam Winchester]

[sam]Sam actually flinched when Dean brought up the psychics. He had believed, or wanted to, that all the psychics were dead. That they had all been drawn to that horrible place to die. As had just been proved, h had been completely wrong, but it was easier to believe than to think there were still others like Max out there, lost and alone and confused. Of course, with Dean's closing statement, he could hope that it wasn't true. One less thing on the plate to deal with.

"That's a lot of shit going down at the same time if it's all happening. Okay, so a storm is coming, the cage is going to break and they want the fetus. That's all Hell. What are the angels doing?" He didn't trust the majority of them any farther than he could throw them. Other than Cas, who was the only one of them who seemed to know anything.

"All of this just creates more questions than answers. Is the cage weakening because of us," he gestured at Adam and himself, "or was it already weak? And what the hell do they expect to pop out of Zee? No offense. But hell psychic or not, I'm still human." He kept darker thoughts to himself, spoke aloud only what he figured at least some of them were thinking.[/sam]

[Dean Winchester]

[dean]Dean was still stuck on what Adam had said, slowing him down from answering Sam's slew of questions.

They were gonna get out, and Dean had helped free Sam. Yeah, Death had done it, but he'd set him on the task and, hey, since they couldn't go after Death, Dean was sure he'd make a pretty good whipping boy.

He did not want to be whipped by Michael and Lucifer, thanks.

Sam's comment about being human brought his attention back, though. "You really think that the hoodoo Yellow Eyes did on you didn't change you? You know, fundamentally?" Maybe Dean was just a pessimist, but he'd bet his favorite bits the kid came out with some sort of psychic twinkle.

To Adam: "You have any idea how much time we have? Ballpark." He was well aware time was different here than in the pit.[/dean]

[Adam Milligan]

[adam]Adam dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, pushing on them in case it would make the headache stop. "Soon. Six months? Less? Not more than a year, no chance. But it's not this week, either. They haven't gotten far enough for that." And, in his distraction, busy fighting off the pain and not being a bitch to Dean, "Michael's having trouble getting Lucifer to focus. That's always been his problem. So many wrongs to pout about and obsess over. He can never finish anything before he gets distracted with the next."

The headache was building, Adam pushed up off the bed and headed out the door to the hall. He didn't go far, just leaned back against one of the columns that supported the second story walkway and lit a cigarette, taking in a deep and desperate drag.[/adam]

[Sam Winchester]

[sam]Well, Dean certainly had a way of putting it. Sam deflated only slightly, kept his concerns to himself. It didn't matter, he'd deal with it when it happened. Because, really, he didn't know how to try and deal with it pre-emptively.

So, when Adam stepped out of the room, Sam took the opportunity to follow him out of the room. He didn't touch him, just leaned back on the wall next to him. "How's the head?"

The way he'd spoken, as if he was Michael, it worried him. It was something he didn't know how to fix. Hell, he didn't know how to fix his own issues with Dean, let alone anyone else's. Selfishly, he sometimes wished they'd both been left in the Cage, because the ocean of shit they'd been dropped into just kept getting deeper. The idea that both Lucifer and Michael would be coming back did not bode well for any of the four of them.[/sam]

[Dean Winchester]

[dean]Dean watched one, then the other, of the two go and it wasn't full on gawking that he did at the door, but it was close. "You kidding me?" he asked under his breath, shaking his head and going back to his drinking, because what the hell was he supposed to talk about with Zee? There was only one thing he could think of and wasn't going there.

He'd noticed the way Adam had talked and had filed it away, but it wasn't the most pressing thing to think about. He'd been in the cage a long time, it would do things to a person.

Tapping a foot impatiently against the floor, he looked at Zee, unable to take the awkward silence, and asked, "Got any magazines?"[/dean]

[Zee Kerrick]

[zee]Zee gave Dean a flat look, "Don't be a dick. This shit's not my fault any more than it's anybody else's." She looked at the window, even though the curtains were drawn. "He went out for a smoke. Was getting one of the headaches, I think, that's what the eye-rubbing usually means. And Sam goes trotting after him because that's what he does these days. Defines himself by how well or poorly he's taking care of me and Adam, no matter how many times we tell him it's not what we want."

She turned to face him more squarely. "Actually? I take it back. Be a dick. Dump it all out here. Get it out of your system. I'll ignore it, but it hurts the two of them, so just go for it. Rage, call me names, accuse me of ruining Sam's life. Tell me all the ways that what's wrong with them is or isn't your fault. Blame yourself, or me, or God, or the angels. Do all of that. Hit stuff. Tell me about everything you lost. Do whatever it takes so that when they come back in here, you don't need to lash out at either of them." She'd been looking at him with a pugnacious jut to her chin, but in a lightning-fast change borne of hormones she finished that whole little speech with a much softer, "Please? We're all barely holding it together, and both of them just fucking worship you. They want you back." There were tears in her eyes at that last. Goddamn hormones.

Outside, Adam took a deeper drag of his smoke and shook his head. "It's all right. Just stress. The nicotine will calm it down some, and I'll grab a pill when I get back inside." He made himself open his eyes, ignoring the stabbing of the hallway lights that seemed to go straight through his eyeballs and into his brain. "It's fine, Sam. Go back inside. I just needed a smoke. No biggie, okay?"[/zee]

[Sam Winchester]

[sam]Sam shook his head. "It wouldn't feel right to just leave you out here. Has it gotten worse recently? The headaches?" And the knowledge? Which he wasn't going to say outloud.

He was racking his brain, trying to remember if Adam had said similar things when they'd first reconnected. He knew his brother was more damaged than he was, and that Adam's connection to Michael worked differently than his own connection with Lucifer. Leaving the Cage had worked differently for both of them. And sometimes, he felt all he could do was stand outside with his brother while Adam pulled himself back together enough to feel steady. In a way, it made Sam feel slightly better too.[/sam]

[Dean Winchester]

[dean]Dean listened to all of Zee's suggestions for how he work his shit out with her, face going from angry to flabbergasted to darkly amused. Back and forth through emotions so fast that it made him look ridiculous, not that he noticed nor cared.

"I'm back," he finally bit out, holding his hands out to show how much he was in the room and all. "Can't be much more back than I am right now. But it's not that easy and you know it and I know it," he nodded to the door, "They know it. I left Adam in the cage, I chose Sam over him and he knows it. You think he's just gonna let that go?"

He wasn't ready to address the myriad of issues with Sam. As much as he hated himself for what he'd done to Adam, that was easier to talk about.[/dean]